May 29, 2015

On My Mind...

There are times when I feel like life is flying by, and I find it difficult to slow things down so that I can fully appreciate the moments. Everything is good, we're plugging along...working, playing, getting things done, even planning ahead...but then I look up and weeks have passed! This blog has been one of the ways that I've actively recorded some of my thoughts along with life's updates, and I've been missing it. 

I think I need to pull out my camera again, too. iPhone pictures are pretty good, but I've been putting more effort into keeping the phone out of reach. If I use it to take a picture, I somehow can't put it down without quickly checking email. As if I'll miss something urgent. It's a weird compulsion. There is definitely a part of me that wishes I could go back to having a phone that was just a phone. I suppose we can't move backwards, though, can we?  

I have become self-conscious about my age. This is difficult for me to admit, since I've always been a pretty confident adult. At least once I got through those awfully insecure teenage years. My adjustment back to working life has brought with it a recognition of my age, which is magnified in relation to the young people with whom I find myself working. Age also equals wisdom and experience, and I have noticed that I sometimes point out my years so that people are aware of that. The other day, I was at lunch with a handful of colleagues, and a few of the men - in their 20s and early 30s - were talking about their gray hairs. I made a comment that they shouldn't talk about that in front of a "gray lady". Now, I color my hair so there's no way they would know that I am gray, and why would I feel the need to point that out? It's as if I want everyone to know my age and respect my experience. It's a defense mechanism against feeling old? I have thought a lot about that this week, and this is a reminder for me:

This weekend includes soccer, and playdates and buying a new car. I am pretty excited about the car, so expect a picture. It's pretty. Speaking of pretty, remember the outfit I mentioned in my previous post? This is it, below, and I must say - I rocked it. Did I say I was feeling old? Whatever.

1 comment:

  1. love the outfit. and really love the quote. fucking own it indeed. when you are actually old (in like 40 more years) you are going to laugh at your 40 year old self for being self-conscience of your age. seriously, own the shit out of it. xoxo


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