October 20, 2011

Living Life to the Fullest

I love Fall, but somehow I'm struggling a bit lately.  I find myself asking, "Have I done enough today?  Am I living my life to the fullest extent possible?  Am I doing all I can to nurture my friendships?  Am I showing my best self to my kids?"  The questions go on and on.  For some reason, the colder season seems to increase this introspection.  In the Summer, it seems so much easier - with cookouts and vacations and other opportunities to step outside the daily routines and fill life with joy.  It seems like it should be as easy in the Fall - pumpkins, apple-picking, cider, leaves and all that - but it doesn't seem to be that way this year.

photo by Leslie Thomson

Perhaps because the weather has been grayer and wetter than usual.  Perhaps because my husband's travel schedule has picked up yet again.  Perhaps because although I now see the light at the end of the tunnel at work, it's a long tunnel.  Whatever it is, I am fighting hard.  I am working to appreciate all that the season has to offer.  I just wish it didn't feel like work.  I also find myself comparing our lives to others, which is a generally awful thing to do.  Everybody has their trials.

But then I think I'm being too hard on myself.  Of course we all have those periods when the focus of our lives is on the routines.  The school drop-offs, meetings, dinner, bedtime...  I have a ridiculous amount of things in my life for which to be grateful, and I am.  Truly.

So I will chalk this up to a funk and get back to being the optimist I have become.  Time for a cup of hot cider, a few moments of peace, and curling up in bed with a good book.  What was I complaining about?


  1. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I have had trouble sleeping lately, and I lay in bed thinking of all the things I could have done differently/better throughout the day. Fall has had me in a mood, for the first time, ever, this year. Hope you get out of your funk soon!

  2. i feel that way sometimes too. :) beautiful post.


  3. Hi Mary - we are so in tune sometimes!! It must be the season...although whilst I reocgnise these issues as old friends, I feel them less this year, for obvious reasons I guess. What's funny though is that what you crave is doing it all and what I am now struggling with is the ability to do it all!! When work is taken out of the equation it does free up time to really think - what am I doing today? I love it, but it comes with its own challenges. For me to do with being sucked into a whole 'perfect' mother channel, that I am not sure is ALL good. Whilst the children need me to be engaged and loving and supportive, it's important that perspective is kept so that they don't become the earth that I solely rotate around. There are a lot of others who should get attention; including myself! So - as we always conclude - no answers! But I think the thinking about it helps :-) Lou x

  4. Anonymous21.10.11

    I think we read too many blogs with stories of house, kids, decor, cooking and we think these people have it all together and that we are lagging behind. We need to slow down and realize perfection is over rated. Take time!!

  5. I can totally relate to this post :)

  6. I can also relate. For me I think that the winding down of the year is making me think about all of those goals that didn't go quite as planned for 2011.

    Hope that the hot cider and book did the trick!


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