photo by wild folk studio
So....I am 40. It's funny, because I had been so positive in the months leading up to this milestone birthday, and then last week I got hit with a case of the worries. I started thinking too much. About how I never really figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. About how my waistline is not what it used to be. About the little sag in the corner of my eyelids. About some of the things I should've done in my twenties. I wasn't sleeping well, I was feeling tired, and I was definitely letting the weather get to me. (Ugh...Spring. I'm happy it's here since it means we are one step closer to Summer, but for now it means cold, wet, muddy days.)
But that was last week. I'm happy to report that today I'm back to my positive self, and I can honestly say that I am excited to be 40! The perspective that comes with age is truly beautiful, and it's absolutely worth the wrinkles. I am reminded that everyone is winging it, just doing the best they can. I also remind myself that I am healthy and physically strong, and that is not something to take for granted.
When the boys were babies, I found myself looking forward to turning 40, because I knew we'd be in an easier parenting phase. Now that I'm here, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because it is true. The boys are four and seven years old, and I feel like we are entering the sweet spot of parenting. We have sweet, silly, wonderful kids who are mostly independent but haven't hit any of the complications and issues that will arise as they enter the preteen/teen years. Our dinner conversations consist of knock-knock jokes and animal facts. "Mom, did you know that...?" My kids educate me and make me laugh every day. I love it and try to reciprocate as often as possible.
My husband is a year younger than I am. This has never bothered me. I'm deciding - right now, in fact - that it won't bother me now. He will turn 39 next month. The bastard. ;-) It's a good thing he still makes me laugh, and he tells me all the time that I am beautiful. Everyone should have someone to tell them they are beautiful. I am a lucky girl.
So what am I doing to celebrate? Well, let's see... I had a wonderful weekend in NYC, I went to a concert by myself, my awesome sisters and husband surprised me with the best weekend, and we're going out to another concert weekend after next! That's a full month of festivities! I opened a fun package from my mom this morning, and my boys showered me with cards and pictures. Although it's windy and snowy outside this morning, I feel warm and happy and loved. My forties are looking pretty good so far.