April 29, 2009

Perception is Reality?

*This patch of cute little blue flowers is just one of the things making me happy this week.

I've had several people make comments to me recently about how great they think I am at juggling everything - working, being a mom, a wife, a friend - and each time, I laughed hysterically. Were they being serious? Or were they just trying to be nice?

So I thought about what kind of image I must project to others. I guess I can see how someone who only read my blog would think that I am a happy-go-lucky mom who is always organized and on top of everything. I'm happy that I'm portraying myself in a positive way. That means I'm focusing on the right things. It also means that I've stayed true to the purpose behind my blog - to focus on the positive and beautiful things in life.
To those friends who think I'm doing a great job....thank you. I appreciate the comments. And in general, I do think I'm doing okay. But I don't think I'm doing any better than any of you. You just aren't there to see me break down in tears when I can't convince my screaming two-year old to just get in the bath please after a really long day at work, or when he throws food in my hair and then hits me when I tell him not to do that, or when I'm running through the grocery store on a Saturday trying to get through that loathesome errand as quickly as possible, or when I fall asleep at my desk at work. You also haven't been to my house lately to see how dirty my shower is or how unorganized my closets are.

And it's not that I want to hide any of that - it's life, after all - it's just that I don't want to focus on those things. I'm sure that any of you who are in similar situations would be able to relate, and I'll admit there is some amount of relief found in venting, but I just want to let those things go so I can be happy. I want to focus on the "big big hugs" I get from my gorgeous and happy and healthy two-year old, my handsome husband, my awesome friends, my efforts at being organized... And the multitudes of tiny little things that make life good and fun - the pretty flowers in my yard, the funny episode of The Office, the surprise package in the mail...

My main point to this post is to remind you that if you are ever tempted to compare yourself to someone else, please remember that perception is not reality. You may want to compare yourself to that perfect mom you know, but don't. She's not perfect. At least, not any more perfect than any of us who keep trying to do our best.

6 comments:

  1. this is one of my favorite posts you have written. right on. love it. good timing too. i have spent ALL MORNING in tears...today is w's first daycare day. I am a wreck. I have no urge to post on my own blog today...but reading yours sure made me smile! xoxo

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  2. Right on Mare. Nobody has it all together. But making it look that way is a gift.
    I totally have those same purple flowers growing in a pot in the front yard. They are very happy.

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  3. Anonymous30.4.09

    I can totally relate since I used to often think others had the perfect life, the husband who worked "regular" hours, the quiet children, etc. but then I would realize they did not have it all together either and had other things they wished they could change. Comparisons are a waste of time and we all need to focus on what is good in our lives. So what if my house is a mess?

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  4. Anonymous30.4.09

    The above is from me, but I put it only lets me put it through as anonymous. Love reading your blog, by the way! Aunt Elinor (in case I don't do it right this time)What is URL?

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  5. Elinor - thanks for the comment, and I'm glad you like reading the blog! (URL is just asking for a website address, if you had a blog of your own, for example.)

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  6. Oh wow. You say this so well! I often think abt the person I portray on my blog. My goal is to be real and true and honest, and I too want to focus on the positives. Sometimes I think though that I should follow up a post like yesterday's (the one where my husband was so sweet re: our stolen moments playing washers) with the fact that we had a less-than-cordial interaction that very night abt the thermostat setting. That's not so inspiring though and not so photo worthy either. I love how you put all of this... "focussing on the hugs...and efforts at being organized". Well said! Thanks!

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Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I really love hearing from the people who read this little blog of mine. Thanks for stopping by!

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