A Few Things...

via Simple Lovely

Just wanted to share a few interesting reads...

What you learn in your 40s.  I loved this. I am absolutely loving my 40s so far.  Perspective is a beautiful thing.

The Definitive Guide to Healthy Eating.  Brilliant.  Exactly what I think whenever I read a new article about some particular food I'm eating that is supposedly going to ruin my life.

Sarah Silverman Gets Serious at Sundance.  I mostly loved reading this because I hate when people get pigeon-holed.  "People are not all one thing."  Amen.

Teenage Kicks.  My talented friend Lou writes about being a mom of a teen and reminds me of the phases still in front of us.

8 Reasons Why You Should Marry the Complicated Girl.  Here's to speaking your mind and being your own woman, and to the men who decide we're worth it.

Seth Avett and Jessica Lea Mayfield put together an album of Elliott Smith covers.  There is so much to love about that sentence.

The Mother 'Hood Official Video.  So funny and so true.  We all judge each other, even though we try (some of us harder than others) not to.  Ultimately, though, it is (or it certainly should be) all about the kids.

You're a Mom, You Know.  And this one sums it up. No matter what kind of mom we choose to be, we all get it, because we're Moms.

A Few Pieces of Advice and Links...

photo by Eric Roth for This Old House magazine

Well, I'm not all that inspired by today's Blogtember challenge prompt:  Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.  But here are a few things that come to mind...

1.  Everything in moderation.  My dad used to say this a lot, and it makes sense.  Anything that requires you to totally eliminate something is suspect.
2.  You don't have to floss every tooth every day, just the ones you want to keep.  Yikes.  My mom said this one to me, and it definitely had its intended effect.
3.  Make your bed every day.  Even if the rest of your house is a disaster, it's so nice to get to your room at the end of the day and see your bed all put together.  It's so inviting, and it has a calming effect on me.  I highly recommend it.
4.  If you don't wear it, get rid of it.  I've heard this one everywhere, so I can't remember where I heard it first, but I definitely stick to the rule that says if I didn't wear it last year, I shouldn't keep it for another one.
5.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  This was a favorite of a partner I worked for when I was a consultant.  It can be applied in many ways, though, and I do like it.  With respect to your personal life, if you aren't happy with how things are going, you need to make a change.  Try something new.

______________________________________________________________________

by Natasha at Beautifully, Suddenly

In addition to those friendly reminders, I thought I'd pass along a few links.  After being offline for a few weeks, I've been catching up on all my favorite blogs.  Here are just a few of the beautiful things I happened across during this marathon blog reading...

This Vermont house truly is my dream house.  I love every single detail.  That kitchen, the bar tucked under the stairs, the bookcases, the old clock on the mantle, the quilt on the bed...everything.

This short film about smartphone overuse hits close to home.  I think I'm going to start 'forgetting' my phone at home more often.

I loved this post by Design Mom about their decision to send their two oldest kids to the public high school in Oakland.  The comments are interesting and thought-provoking as well.  I think my little sister, an assistant principal, would like it as well.

I have no idea what Garden & Gun is, but this little performance by Jason Isbell is beautiful.  His album is definitely one of my favorites of the year.

After yesterday's post, I read this one by Natasha at Beautifully, Suddenly.  Just another opportunity to marvel at the stunning beauty that is Sydney.   

Remember my cousin Tiffany and that fun YouTube video of her dancing?  Well, it went viral!  The band, Great Big Sea, tweeted and then posted about it on Facebook, and it has taken off from there.  Stand up for Cancer posted it to their Facebook page also.  Tiffany has been interviewed by the local TV news and newspaper, and she was interviewed by the Canadian Broadcast Service via skype and radio.  It has been very, very cool to follow along as she goes on this journey.  She has opened up her blog, and I'd recommend it to anyone, but especially those going through a health crisis.  It's inspiring.

Things That Make Me Feel Young

photo by Natasha Calhoun

Okay, so I'm 39 now.  I'm okay with this.  I thought I would follow up this list with its opposite - a few of the things that make me feel young:

1.  Yoga.  I am not an expert, but I can hold my own; and as I leave a class, I walk a little taller and breathe a little deeper.

2.  Some of the bands I listen to are led by young people, but I love that so many of my favorites are those that are aging like me and continuing to make great music.  Pearl Jam, Kristin Hersh, Ryan Adams, The Decemberists, Susan Tedeschi, Josh Ritter, Juliana Hatfield, Patty Griffin, Sera Cahoone, Tift Merritt, Wild Flag...

3.  Skiing.  Gliding down the mountain, with a cool breeze in my face.  I feel light, and happy, and young.

4.  Hanging out with my mom.  Because she's a little older than me, and she's still rocking it.  She rides her bike, takes long walks, gardens, does yoga...  It feels good to walk in her footsteps and to have such a beautiful example of how to age with grace.

5.  Tickle sessions with my kids.  Rolling around on the floor making two little boys gasp for air as they laugh is the best.

6.  Being at the beach.  Maybe it's the sun, or the sand, or cooling off in the water on a hot summer's day, or maybe it's the stop at the ice cream stand, or the memories of childhood trips.  Whatever it is, the beach never fails to make me feel young.

7.  Playing a new album all the way through and reading the lyrics.

8.  Watching my kids grow up and experiencing their childhoods along with them.  It's like getting to go through it all over again.  I get to eat popsicles, run through sprinklers, watch cartoons, read fun books, eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, create paintings...

9.  Driving with the windows down.

10.  My shoulders.  I like my shoulders.  They're strong and have always served me well.

11.  Nice compliments from friends (or strangers!).  Like the comment my lovely friend Sara left about my skin.  At first I'm thinking "My skin?  You should see my forehead right now!  And the amount my eyelids have started to droop in the last year."  But then I think, "How nice!"

12.  Watching the stars.  I can stare at the night sky and feel 12 again.  It always makes me feel small and huge and magnificent.

Things That Make Me Feel Old

I'm turning 39 next week.  In celebration of getting older, I made a list of a few of the things that make me feel old.  There is the opposite list, of course - things that make me feel young.  Perhaps I'll do that next.  This is not a negative list.  Growing older is fun and weird and interesting, and it happens to all of us.  It's okay to notice those changes along the way.

1.  I get confused when articles and people refer to JT.  To me, JT is James Taylor, and I'm pretty sure he'd never write a song called "SexyBack".

2.  Harlem Shakes is what now?  I don't watch reality TV.  The only American Idols I know are Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.  I have absolutely no idea why the Kardashians are famous.  I'm a little upset I know their name at all.  But it does make me feel better to know that I don't care, so please, nobody fill me in.

3.  I watch sporting events and realize I could be the mother of most of the athletes.  The Olympics are the worst!

4.  Learning new things is the best part of growing older.  Continuing to gather knowledge, of all kinds.  And learning something new, whether it's how to cook with a different ingredient, play a new song on the guitar, the meaning of a word, or a piece of history, never fails to make me feel just a little bit more grown-up.

5.  The physical parts of getting older.  This could be a long list.  Gray hair, wrinkles, creaky knees...

6.  Conversations about taxes, insurance, and retirement.

7.  Those signs at the liquor store that say "If you were born after XX/XX/XX, you cannot purchase alcohol."  They say 1992 on them now!  That's when I graduated high school!

8.  Little reminders about how long ago events happened.  The ones that loom large in my memory.  How long it's been since The Challenger exploded (27 years).  Since Kurt Cobain died (17 years).  Since Friends went off the air (8 years).  9/11/2001.

9.  Anything from the 80s.  Madonna, Duran Duran, Rubik's Cubes, candy cigarettes, School House Rock, Simon, walking to school by yourself, Kirk Cameron, cassette tapes, General Hospital, Ghostbusters, Private Benjamin, Ferris Bueller, all John Hughes movies...

10.  Not getting carded.  And then thinking about how exciting it was to turn 21.  And then thinking about how long ago that was.

Things I've Learned...as a Mom

from beyondtherack.com via Pinterest

'Things I've Learned', the Mom edition.  I've only been a mom for 4 1/2 years, so I am obviously still learning.  Here are a few things I've learned so far...

1.  There is no such thing as privacy when you have little kids.  Moms shower and use the bathroom with an audience.  (I wonder when this ends?)
2.  You won't get sick by eating food off the floor.  Even if it's been there for a week. 
3.  Moms can function pretty highly on very litle sleep.  For years. 
4.  Moms also make mistakes.  Apologize and move on.  We can all try to be our best, but nobody's perfect. 
5.  Tastes change quickly.  Favorite foods and meals one week are met with a whiny "but I don't want that!" the next. 
6.  Every day starts at the same time, regardless of bedtime the night before.
7.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away and take a deep breath.  
8.  Often the best toys are not toys at all - keys, laundry basket, straws, scotch tape, pots and pans...
9.  I have gained super powers - I can make them giggle with only a look or a wiggling of my fingers in the air.
10.  Kids will do what they see you do - the good and the bad.  There's nothing like having a child to motivate you to be your best self. 
11.  Sometimes only Mom will do.
12.  There is nothing more beautiful than a sleeping child.
13. I know the names of all types of trucks, tractors, dinosaurs, and bugs (can you tell I have boys?)
14.  It's essential to be prepared.  Snacks are the most important thing.  More important than diapers even.  There's nothing worse than a hungry kid (or Mom, for that matter).  But I try to remember the diapers too.
15.  They're only dirty floors.  Big deal.
16.  Little brothers grow up faster, because they want to do everything their big brother is doing.  My little guy is absolutely fearless. 
17.  If you want your kids to love books, read to them every night.  Let them see you reading.  Fill your house with books. 
18.  There's no such thing as child-proof.  They'll figure out how to climb it, open it, jump off it, eat it, or run into it, so keep your eye on them.  And when they fall anyway, just be there to give them lots of hugs.
19.  Crayon markings can be removed from a painted wall using baby oil.

20.  After-dinner dance sessions are a perfectly acceptable form of exercise.

The United Kingdom

This is brilliant.  I don't know how many times I've had this conversation with people.  I can usually remember what's included in the United Kingdom vs. Great Britain, but adding in the detail about the other British territories as well as what is represented by The Crown is fascinating.  Thank you to Grey's Blog for doing this!  Now go read the accompanying comments to be thoroughly confused...

Holiday Recap

via prettystuff

Well, the leftovers are almost gone, the tree is up, and the Christmas music is in heavy rotation.  The holiday season has officially begun.  We spent a few nice days at my mother-in-law's house.  It was quieter than usual, but that's okay.  The first night, I was in bed at 8:45.  Thanksgiving night, it was 9:30.  The little boy was in the room with us, so it wasn't entirely restful, but still....I can't complain about the amount of time I got to spend in bed.  We came home on Saturday, which we've learned is definitely the way to go.  We then had that evening to get unpacked and Sunday to enjoy relaxing and decorating the house. 

The first thing the big boy said this morning was "Mom, I want my bag."  Forgetting that they are called stockings, he just knew that they'd be full of presents.  He was a little disappointed to learn that he has to wait a few more weeks.  Especially with his birthday in-between now and then, I think he'll survive.

Here are a few other things I learned this holiday weekend:

- Pumpkin Cream Pie is better than Chocolate Mascarpone Cheesecake Pots. (Woohoo!  We won Bake-off 2010!)  The gingersnap crust is what won it for us.  Delicious.  Since cream pies have won the last three years, I'm thinking next year we'll have to enforce a "no cream pie" rule, though. 

- The big boy is a fan of back massagers.  When we got home, he informed me that he liked Grandma's house better than ours.  When I asked why, he said, "because of the remote control chair".  I'm a fan too, truth be told.

- The little boy is a terror around a Christmas tree.  Fingers crossed that he loses interest soon, but so far he really loves taking whacks at it and throwing ornaments across the room.

- Baked French Toast is awesome.  So easy to pull together the night before, and then whoever gets up first just needs to throw it in the oven.  Once everybody is up and hungry, it's ready!  And nobody has to stand in front of the stove.  It's definitely a rich special-occasion dish but one I will gladly eat.  Those candied pecans! 

- It's good to give thanks.  Thanksgiving is such a lovely holiday.  I try to focus every day on the things in my life for which I am grateful, but how nice to have a whole holiday dedicated to just that.  I tried to remind my almost 4-year-old of it as well.  Every now and then I'd tell him something I'm grateful for and ask him what things would be on his list.  I got responses everywhere from "You and Daddy" to "glitter glue" and "my balance bike". 

via etsy

It's getting colder, and snow is in the forecast for the first time this year.  Maybe we'll get some early next week.  I will hate it in March, but for now I say "let it snow! let it snow! let it snow!".  I'll try to stay this cute all bundled up...

via thatkindofwoman

Things I've Learned

More things I've learned.  If you want to see some of the other items on my list, go here.

1.  Plan for a re-entry day at the end of your vacations so you have a day at home before you have to head back to work.  Time to do laundry, get back on your normal schedules, put food in the fridge, etc.
2.  Coming home to a tidy house is much more pleasant than the alternative.  Put things away when you're done with them.  Hang your coat in the closet and not over the back of a chair.
3.  Always wear sunscreen.  Spending so many of my younger days on the beach without anything on taught me this well.  Now if I could just get my husband to learn this as well, but then I guess he has me to slather him up.
4. It's nice to look people in the eye.  Have you ever noticed how many of us go through the checkout lines or take a ticket without ever even looking up?  Look up.  Smile.  You'll probably get a smile in return, and it's nice to inject more niceness into your day.
5.  Keep all your important papers (birth certificates, car titles, insurance papers...) in a firesafe lockbox.  You never know.
6.  Which reminds me....back up your computer regularly and keep the backup drive in your firesafe lockbox. too.  Think about everything you have on your computer right now (pictures, music...) - wouldn't it suck to lose it all?
7.  Raising my voice to my son only makes things worse.  It never helps.
8.  It's awesome to be debt-free.  I remember my dad always telling me that you shouldn't buy anything you can't pay for.  If you can't buy it right now, save up for it until you can.  He even bought his cars outright.  Smart man.
9.  It's good to spend time by yourself.  That's the time when you learn how you really feel about things.  It's also okay to do things like eat in a restaurant or see a movie by yourself.
10.  Don't waste your time looking for the closest parking spot.  Park in the first spot you see and walk.

Things I've Learned

***

Here's another set of Things I've Learned.  Some of these I continue to learn the hard way.

1.  Don't buy mixed-flavor Jelly Belly jelly beans.  As good as most of them are, it's just not worth accidentally putting a "buttered popcorn" bean in your mouth.  Bleh.
2.  It's worth it to buy good sheets.  You can get them on sale - I love TJMaxx/Marshall's for sheets, but get the highest thread-count you can afford. 
3.  You should delete any email you write when angry or frustrated.  Take a walk, come back, and try again.
4.  It's okay to bend the rules about treats when the ice cream truck is on your street.
5.  It's always better to be overdressed than underdressed.  You never want to be "that guy/girl".  You know, the one in jeans and flannel at a fancy restaurant.  Don't let that be you. 
6.  This is more of a vow than a lesson learned, although it has proved to be worthwhile so far.  I promise not to answer my kids' questions with "because I said so".  I will do my best to answer honestly and thoughtfully.  I believe that if they understand the why behind a rule, they'll be more likely to follow it. 
7.  It's okay to buy the generic versions of the following items:  medications, sugar/baking supplies, baby wipes, organic foods (if your store carries its own organic line)
8.  It's worth it to buy the name-brand versions of other things, such as:  toilet paper, diapers, spaghetti sauce
9.  If you plan to bake something, make sure you take the butter out of the fridge as soon as you wake up.  Give it time to soften to room temperature.  If you forget, don't think you can just stick it in the microwave for a few seconds.  You'll always put it in a little too long and end up with melted butter. 
10. Check all the pockets before putting clothes in the washer.  Especially if you have a husband and sons.

 ***

Things I've Learned

***

As I mentioned, I plan to do a post like this every now and then with things I've learned.  Some serious.  Some not.  Think it may be fun to look at all of them once I get a good list.  

1. Your kids are always watching you.  If you want them to do/not do something, then do it/don't do it yourself.
2. There are too many wonderful books to waste your time on a bad one.  It's okay to put it down, unfinished.  Just make sure you at least gave it a chance, and then return/freecycle/swaptree/donate it.  Someone else may love it.
3. Everyone deserves respect.  Even that nasty man at the grocery store that jumped you in line and scowled at you like you were nothing.  Maybe he was having an awful day and was rushed to be somewhere, maybe he has a family member that's really sick, maybe he's normally a fabulous person.  You never know.
4. Having quiet time with nothing to do is a blessing.  Savor it. 
5. Wear facial moisturizer with SPF every day.  Moisturize at night too (esp. the eyes) when you're over 30.
6. There's nothing wrong with eating ice cream every. single. day.  In fact, I encourage it.  
7. If you have kids, keep a box of new batteries (all sizes) in an easily accessible place.  You'll say you won't buy toys that require batteries, but somehow you will still go through a ton of them.  
8. Date nights are really important, and the kids will be fine with a babysitter. 
9. That other mom you know - the one you think is perfect - makes mistakes and has doubts and moments of guilt too. 
10. Nobody likes spending time with someone who complains a lot.

***

Things I've Learned

via Dress Design Decor

This is by no means a comprehensive list.  I expect I'll do a post like this every now and then to capture some of the things I've learned so far in my life.  The big and the little.  The serious and the silly.  Here are ten:

1. Being optimistic is way more fun than being pessimistic
2. Flip-flops are comfortable, as long as you avoid the super cheap ones
3. Being happy truly is a choice, and it must be made every day
4. Frozen blueberries or popsicles are a good way to treat a toddler's fat lip
5. I must have a few moments of silence every day, or super-cranky Mary appears (and she is not very nice).  Sleep helps too, but alone-time is even more important.
6. Smiling and looking people in the eye are nice habits to have
7. It's worth spending 10 seconds to make the bed every morning
8. Always get a reference before hiring an HVAC company (same goes for plumbers, electricians, and other repairmen)
9. It's easier to manage laundry by keeping the kids' clothes separate from ours
10. I love blogging.  Even when I don't have much to say, the focus on positives and inspiring beautiful things is wonderful.