I said to myself - over and over again - that when I went back to work, I was not going to fall into the same crazy and over-stressed routine that I had been in before. For the most part, I've been successful. I'm busy, but I've generally felt okay about the balance. Lately I've been taking on more at work, because there's that part of me that wants to achieve and be recognized, and also because the tasks I've been taking on are interesting and important to me. Most importantly, I felt like I had the capacity to do these things.
I was recently asked to take on something else, and I hesitated. It is so difficult to say no, but I felt like I had reached my limit. If I took this on, something else would be sacrificed. It was uncomfortable, but I ultimately said no. I immediately felt guilty about it, and I've felt guilty ever since; but I continue to remind myself that I can't do it all. At least not at the same time. Perhaps the next time this opportunity comes up, I'll be able to step up, but not now.
It can be hard to accept this type of self-imposed limitation, especially in my business. A business full of young, ambitious people. But I think I am (mostly) at peace with it. I have other priorities in my life. I will work hard, but I will also ensure that there is room for everything else. There is so much more to life than work.
So interesting to read back on that guest post you did - we were both in different places then. I think what you are doing is great, you set your mind to do it and you've managed. It does take some sacrifices and saying 'no' is one of them. I think there has been a massive miscommunication to our generation of women (as we are both 41 - age twins!) to suggest that you can work, be a good mother, keep an orderly home, be a good wife etc etc. It's so hard and actually not possible in most cases, at least not for any length of time. I have approached my new work with the attitude that I do my best but there are some non-negotiables and they have to stay for my sanity to stay! I think the trick is to not get frustrated about why it's hard, but to overcome what is making it hard in a considered manner. Anyway, happy Friday! Lou x
ReplyDeleteHow did you get so wise?
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