I have started this post about nine times. Sometimes it's hard to calm my mind long enough to express a thought, so I'm just going to dump some of it out here and see if we can sort out the mess together, okay?
I've been feeling old lately. I know, I know, but there it is. Just as if your kids can somehow seem to "grow overnight", it seems that we can encounter days where we feel like we've aged overnight. At least I have. Little things like noticing the looseness of skin on my cheeks and eyes. My stomach is also not what it used to be. I'm not complaining, truly - I'm strong, I'm healthy, I'm comfortable in my body. But it's weird to notice the changes along the way.
I've also been feeling a little old at work, so I've been adjusting there as well. I'm at a point where some of the people above me are now younger than I am. I read an article recently about "resume mistakes that make you appear old" and realized I did several of them. (I honestly didn't know you were only supposed to put one space after a period now. When did this happen?)
I've made several updates to my wardrobe, and now I'm trying to stop. I may own too many pairs of black shoes, but I still don't have the perfect pair of work loafers or boots. I haven't found that trench yet either. But I'm enjoying my new outfits, and I'm having fun getting dressed up for work.
Halloween was fun, and although an illness forced us to change our plans, the boys still declared it "the best night ever"! Aaron was Dustin Pedrioa (Red Sox player) and Nathan was Raphael (teenage mutant ninja turtle). They got giant bags of candy, ate themselves silly, and fortunately traded more than half of it (almost all for Nathan) for books the next day. I had the goal to be done with it by today, and with only two lollipops left for Nathan, I'll call that success.
Last night, we went out to dinner and a Noah Gundersen concert. We were both tired, in the way that a cold dreary weekend with a time change will make you tired, but it was worth it. It was good to get out of the house, to connect with Kevin, to hear beautiful music. Of course, today I am now tired in the way that a late night on a school night will make you tired. Still...worth it.
I need to find more me-time in the schedule. It's always the first thing to go, isn't it? It's getting harder to get up early to exercise, and I'm not finding those quiet moments to recharge. I have to figure out how to schedule and preserve those. At the same time, I want to plan more time with friends. I don't want to fall back into the situation of being crazy busy all the time without being deliberate about how we're spending that time. I know stuff has to get done, but...priorities. Time with the boys, family, friends, taking care of ourselves, having fun. Living life. After all, we're getting older every day.